A real-life dildo, the dinosaur dildo takes you to the terrifying Cretaceous Era in the comfort of your own home. The dinosaur dildo is modeled after the lifelike appearance of ancient creatures that imitate every detail and offers a brand new form of satisfaction thanks to its different shape. Whether or not you're into paleontology, the dinosaur dildo is a fun prehistoric adventure for every one of your private exploration with it, and with its skin-safe materials and a number of functions that fulfill your expectation for some new experiences.
Why exactly is the dinosaur dildo so popular?
To impress you, we start with some solid statistics. According to Kink Insider, sales of dildos that resemble dinosaurs have surged by 470 percent in the past two years. Even weirder, 87% of buyers admitted to imagining themselves in an alternate universe where dinosaurs were alive (and well?) while doing the dinosaur dildo, praying "Jurassic Park" film theme music played on in the background. These toys are not your average rubber sticks, so do not take them lightly.
In their pursuit of unprecedented authenticity, top manufacturers are hiring paleontologists as consultants. And possibly even more incredible are the latest versions of these finds, with the Tyrannosaurus rex's unique Y-shaped furcula formation preserved all the way down to the synapomorphy level! The dinosaur dildo only measures 9 inches in length, but replicates the anatomy of this prehistoric predator perfectly.
Is it the same kind of dinosaur as the dildo dinosaur?
This is a great time to talk about what the dinosaur dildo is made of. Plus, who wouldn’t want a piece of NASA tech in their bedroom with the dinosaur dildo? The elasticity coefficient of the dinosaur dildo (made of medical-grade platinum silicone) is so high, it allows for a jaw-dropping 380% extensibility. I don't understand. Thanks to the incredible deformability of the dinosaur dildo, it feels more like a super gummy than a toy.
The carved-scaling surface itself is even finer, with 200 micro-convex points per square inch. Imagine that you were brushed along the back of twenty Velociraptors simultaneously with their feathers, each of which has its own unique texture. That feeling is amazing! Best of all, the dino dildo’s dual temperature control can chill down to a frosty 18 degrees Celsius or crank up to 102 degrees Fahrenheit in just three minutes. The dinosaur dildo will steal the show on your nightstand, as it sways to the rhythm of its “volcanic eruption mode” — one of seven vibration patterns — like purportedly possessed.
What sets the dinosaur dildo apart from the rest?
Come with me to put this hybrid triumph from across our taxonomic tree under the science “microscope.” The crews designing these top-tier dinosaur dildos are no-nonsense and meticulous. They ran advanced artificial intelligence Python code on the field museum’s computer cluster to find the ergonomics best-fit measurements for the world-famous “Sue” Tyrannosaurus rex specimen, which they scanned at the entire specimen at Chicago’s Field Museum. The final product features seven different vibration patterns with ultra-sensory settings having a diameter that measures 2.25 inches.
“Meteor Impact Mode” is the most entertaining because it simulates the asteroid’s actual catastrophic strike against Earth, right down to the secondary sick wave that lags by three-quarters of a second. You have nothing to worry about—the safety mechanism on this dinosaur dildo is way more reliable than the dinosaur extinction rate. With that out of the way, you can sit back, and enjoy the dinosaur dildo. And the delightful intricacies of the dinosaur dildo are not limited to its fact that it is a dinosaur dildo. Instead of a mere decoration, the back of the Stegosaurus dildo comes equipped with a line of menacing back plates.
The movable TPE protrusions will provide an alternate stimulating feeling as you use them, as though you were being tickled by a Stegosaurus. And don’t you dare overlook the Triceratops model too. In actuality, the three unique "horns" of the dinosaur dildo house 36 micro-pulse factors, delivering an unprecedented measure of satisfaction by dialing in to the most sensitive G-spot, A-spot and P-spot. But the Oviraptor series is the real highlight. The makers had planned for it to be removable (called "dinosaur egg," the attachable massage head) from the dinosaur dildo. Just press the remote to turn on the dinosaur dildo, and begin your 10-minute "hatching" progressive vibration adventure. Even Darwin would probably crawl out of his tomb to applaud this terrific dinosaur dildo scheme.
What Styles of Dinosaur Dildos are There?
So below is a table comparing the actual sizes of the dinosaur dildos. I am passing the information on as a part of my spirit. The dinosaur dildo's base model, the Brontosaurus series, boasts a whopping 11 inches. Just by virtue of hearing it, you might be there's something so moving in the nature of compassion, and what capable of doing to you. Though rest assured. Even better, the dinosaur dildo is built with a moveable, flexible spine that mimics a real-life sauropod's neck, bending as needed to fit different positions as well as different environments. However, this 6.5 inch long model is dwarfed by the 900 RPM vibration frequency dinosaur dildo that more than makes up for it.
Hang onto your hat, folks, in addition to realistic bionic feather touch capable of simulating a raptor's relentless pursuit. Meet the star of the show, the Tyrannosaurus Pro Max. This is a “jumbo” in the world of adult toys. To simulate a real T-Rex hunt, fake dino cock uses military-grade hydraulic mechanisms to suddenly inflate its 3-inch diameter head by 15%. This surprise will certainly get your heart racing, we promise. And because they care about your comfort, the dinosaur dildo can be used with five types of texture replacement kits, from sandpaper harshness to the softness of a baby’s skin.
In the world of adult toys, the dinosaur dildos are like renting going to an IMAX 3D luxury movie; they’ll keep you absorbed, on the edge of your seat, and practically your entire existence will be quoted from the movie, you’ll get back addicted. These are not made-up numbers. According to the latest scientific journal called "Kinkology", users get a 47% peak of dopamine secretion more than usual goods. Actual dinosaur roars have been added to the dinosaur dildos, making them far more exciting. And, if that weren't enough, some of the pricier dinosaur dildos come integrated with augmented reality. Just scan the dildo with your phone, and you’ll release a virtual T-Rex in your bedroom. It will transport you to a time before recorded history, when dinosaurs still roamed the earth — wiping you from the narrative of modern civilization. Okay, let’s see what these ancient behemoths actually were. They might be the most anatomically accurate adult toys on the planet. Take the Mosasaurus, the most popular dinosaur dildo model ever (yes, the giant ancient ocean beast from “Jurassic World”). The dinosaur dildo has an aerodynamically efficient body design, as mandated by the laws of fluid dynamics.
Tell me what this means. Compared with standard goods, the dinosaur dildo has a 60% lower vibration wave attenuation rate when used underwater. In other words you might get to feel what it's like to be dancing with a Mosasaurus in the water for a longer time and more intensely when you're under water. The same level of genius is applied to the Spinosaurus model. That famous dorsal sail of the dinosaur dildo has more to it than you might realize. Insulated heat dispersion elements work like a guard, making sure that the dinosaur dildo doesn’t explode into “volcanic lava,” corroding your energy during your tortured, Tolkienesque meeting.
How is the dinosaur dildo technologically advanced?
Indeed, this dinosaur dildo's latest design is so "high-tech features" that it has recently dropped its most recent "fossil layer". To touch the surface of the dinosaur dildo is to run your fingers over what resembles scales — a matte suppleness in an eye-watering array of flesh tones that feels like you’re becoming part of an ancient world. There are also photoelectric elements embedded in the center layer of the dinosaur dildo that react to temperature.
Under normal conditions, the dinosaur dildo is seemingly quiet and drab — but when heated, it's endowed with the detail display of its blood vessels. At the core of the dinosaur dildo is the intelligent silicone with memory function. You'll have the best and personalized experience with the dinosaur dildo because it is the equivalent of a frisky girlfriend that knows you adjust her hardness depending on the use. Is this technology truly state of the art? Other than that, even the Smithsonian Institution wondered whether they could use this technique to produce replicas of dinosaur skeletons! Well, true, such a crazy and awesome design, how safe could the dinosaur dildo actually be? Excellent inquiry. Allow me to elaborate. The dinosaur dildo has passed more safety tests than any competing hypotheses regarding the demise of the dinosaurs.
Put your fears to rest, though: Everything from the rigorous FDA food-grade certification to the EU CE medicinal standards has meant every detail has been meticulously scrutinized to ensure no health risks whatsoever. So far, twenty thousand impact tests have been conducted on the creature’s skull alone, using ballistic gel that emulates uterine material to provide the best possible simulation of what might happen in the field. The dinosaur cock is top notch! The prehistoric dildo features an "emergency camouflage system," the most thoughtful element of the device. Imagine this: when you are chilling in your alone time, you can hear the sound of approaching steps,-) those of your roommate or a naughty child. What are your options? It's okay. In seconds, the T-Rex-style dino-dildo will becoming a little quivering mortified hedgehog by curling up into an 8-inch “dinosaur egg” shape — you just have to press the button for three seconds. When it comes to keeping your dirty business hidden from even the most inquisitive of search parties, the dinosaur dildo is the perfect option for when the room gets searched at a most inauspicious time.
Then why are you hesitating? Get ready to ditch the normal fun in the bedroom and take it to new heights with a dinosaur dildo! Remember that hardcore gamers be bottoming with dinosaur dildos at this point, taking time to process the deep meaning of Minecraft harmony with the T-Rex, while the rest of us are stuck fucking with a human figure.
